Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
