I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
