is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
