I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
