The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
organizing the empties. That sober.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
