Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
