No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
