Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
