They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
