Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
