Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
