PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
