dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
