Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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