i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
