Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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