my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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