You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
