He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
