that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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