im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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