There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
