you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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