haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
