left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I want her autograph on my taint
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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