We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think I just sharted jello shots
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