He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
