the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How drunk are you?
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