Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
