Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
