i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
