Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
my poor anus
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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