You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Someone shit on the floor
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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