Non-Jews are for practice
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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