just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and she was petting her beer can
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
