just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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