Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
