just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
