Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize