So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
