Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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