I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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