her vagine was all disorganized.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I can't turn off my feet"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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