I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
