we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize