so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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