it was like his penis was on wheels.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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