1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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