nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
