I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
