Where is the hickey?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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