What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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