Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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