I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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