What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
