So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
