I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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