plz talk dirty to me
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
