We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
