she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
