before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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