If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
