Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
