I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
