I only kidnapped one of them. chill
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
